Friday Round Up 17-02-06
The Paranoid Tim, in it's short existence, has never ceased to amaze us. For a start, people actually read this cobblers. A brave few even reply - usually to tell us that we're talking cobblers - but they reply none the less. But still we stumble on. And each day we check to see exactly who it is that is reading our humble little blog.
You'd be surprised, you really would. Places on this earth I didn't even know existed are seemingly wired up to the internet and downloading our latest guff about Celtic. Mauritius? We've got a reader there. Vietnam? The Hanoi CSC are signed up members of the Paranoid Tim. There's even one poor wee bloke who shows up all on his own somewhere in the middle of the Australian Outback. Paranoid Tim can't yet confirm that this is Alec Clelland still trying to find where Del Piero went with the ball, but we think it highly unlikely.
And as we have such a varied readership, we thought it might be nice for those tims scattered round the globe to have a little weekly round up on Celtic related news that we were too lazy to write about earlier in the week. Yeh, we know you read Newsnow. That's how you found us, right? But you never know. There might be a bit or two that you missed. Anyway, onto the guff.
That Was The Team That Was
For readers in Scotland - or anyone who has access to the Tartan TV that passes as BBC Ecosse - Friday 24th February is a date to be marked on the calendar. That was the team that was....Celtic 87/88 unsurprisingly devotes half an hour to the Celtic centenary team that would claim a league and cup double under Billy McNeill. Sorry if I've ruined the ending for you. But hey, If you're reading this you should really know.
The blurb in this weeks Radio Times reads
One worth watching, I'm sure you'll agree. Also worth watching is this weeks edition, scheduled to run tonight, which focuses on the Hearts 85/86 team that managed to blow the league on the final day of the season a full 20 years before Martin O'Neils Celtic would manage the same feat. Here at The Paranoid Tim we're not sure whether we'll watch it to see Celtic snatch a last gasp league title, or to see Jambo's greetin' into their pies as news filters through from Love Street that Celtic are the champions. Probably a bit of both.
Shearer Testimonial
Speaking of old things. Newcastle striking legend Alan Shearer has officially announced that Celtic will provide the opposition for his Testimonial game, scheduled for May 11th. Shearer has also announced that he will donate all money raised, expected to be in the region of £1M, to charity. A nice gesture, it has to be said. And once again Celtic support are given the honor of sending off one of the games biggest names.
Rumours that the Daily Record are sending a bus full of Cameraman to Newcastle with instructions to mug themselves and sell the story on are completely unfounded.
Bookies pay out
Fresh from our 1-0 walloping of that lot from across the city, bookies up and down the land have decided to pay out on a Celtic SPL Title win, the first time the wee white flag has gone up in February. Punters who ripped their lines up after the Artmedia game and the 4-4 draw at Fir Park on the first day of the season can contact The Paranoid Tim and we'll put you in touch with a trained counsellor.
Celtic Reserves
With Barry Ferguson allegedly out of Rangers game against Hibs on Saturday, having not yet managed to wash the smell of Roy Keane's pish out of his hair it was the turn of the Rangers youngsters to show their overpaid, under performing first team how to do the business and beat Celtic. Alas, it was not to be. Although to be fair to the mini Orcs, they did manage a goalless draw having played much of the game with 10 men. With talented footballing prodigies such as Klos, Rodriguez, Bernarnd, Namouchi, Hemdani, Rae, Boyd and Novo in the Rangers lineup, the £14M worth of investment in Murray Park has surely paid off. If only we'd thought of that.
For excellent coverage of the game and other mini-Celt stuff, jump on over to the Celtic FC Blog. It's well worth a read.
Celtic turnover
Celtic have maintained their place in the "Deloitte" top 20, the annual survey of the worlds richest clubs. The Glasgow Giants (as opposed to the other Glasgow clubs who fail to make the top 20) were listed as the 16th richest club, down 3 places from last year. The list is based on club turnover. Celtic are the only club outwith the five major European leagues to make it into the list, a remarkable feat and proof of the potential strength of the Celtic name throughout the world. However, this years European adventures (or lack of) could see us slip outside the top 20 when next years list is published.
The Paranoid Ex-Tims section
Henke goes home
As if we didn't already know it, Henrik Larsson is a man of his word. For years now we've listened to the goalscoring legend speak quietly of his determination to finish his career in his native Sweden. Yesterday he confirmed that he would return not only to Sweden, but to his own hometown of Helsingborg, signing an 18 month contract with the club that helped put him on the road to stardom. There aren't many players in todays game who would turn down another year at Barcelona for the sake of keeping a promise to the coach who helped nurture his raw talents as a youngster. But that is exactly what Larsson has done.
Helsingborg have no idea what they've done. Not only have they signed the greatest Swedish footballer of the last 50 years. They've now become the Swedish club of choice for probably every Celtic supporter on this planet. Paranoid Tim wishes Henrik every success, and as much happiness as he gave us over those seven years he graced the Hoops.
Agathe for...
Following on from the slightly ridiculous idea of Middlesbrough signing Didier Agathe, and the utterly surreal idea of Arsenal signing Didier Agathe, we now have the moderately bizarre idea that the Frenchman could yet well maybe have a sneaky chance of perhaps signing a contract with Premiership side Bolton. Agathe, who left Celtic in a blaze of shoulder shrugging is currently training at the Reebok Stadium. Should this one fall through, too, Paranoid Tim has been reliably informed that there are still another 17 Premiership teams with training facilities that Didier can gatecrash. We await developments with the same 'trying to withhold a smirk' face that last sneaked onto our face that time Martin O'Neil suggested Agathe should be playing for France. Oh how we laughed.
McParland signs for Barnsley
New to the pantheon of ex-tims comes Tony McParland. "Who he?" we hear you cry. Well Tony is none other than Celtic's longest serving player, according to the Official Celtic website. And this week young Tony departed for pastures new. 23 year old McParland signed on for 18 months with English League One side Barnsley. Paranoid Tim wishes him well in his new surroundings.
Paul Lambert resigns from Livingston
Paul Lambert resigned as the manager of SPL strugglers Livingston following his sides 1-0 home defeat at the hands of fellow relegation fodder Dunfermline. Lambert, in an interview on Radio Scotland before the match, had hinted that he would step down if his side failed to win. Livingston have installed ex-Hearts boss John Robertson as their new manager. Rumours that Gordon Strachan is said to be interested in signing the spritely 36 year old Lambert until the end of the season are completely without foundation.
Colin Healy training with Livingston
While one ex-celt's Livingston career came to a grinding halt at Almondvale this week, yet another was setting up camp. Former hoops midfielder Colin Healy, who has been out of the game since breaking his leg while playing for Sunderland in 2003, has been training with Livvie, with a view to a permanent deal. Healy left Sunderland by mutual consent in December and has been attracting interest from several teams, notably Hibs and Crystal Palace. The Irishman made some 48 appearances for Celtic between 1999 and 2003, starting 27 times and scoring 3 goals. The Paranoid Tim wishes Colin Healy all the best in his attempts to get back to playing the football we know he is capable of.
Camera Wigan No show
English Premiership surprise package Wigan have fined former Celt Henri Camara after the player failed to return from African Nations Cup duty in time to play against Liverpool last weekend. Liverpool won the game 1-0. The Senegalese striker, something of an African Mark Viduka, accepted his fine with the grace of anyone who earns megabucks from kicking a wee sack of leather round a field. The shouts of "Where the hell is Camara?" heard round Wigan last week echo those often heard round Scottish football grounds during his short spell in Glasgow.
Camara scored 8 goals in 12 SPL starts for Martin O'Neils side last season, having joined on loan from Wolves. Despite this reasonable goalscoring record, he was regarded as something of a flop and allowed to leave Glasgow after only 6 months. Joining Wigan in a £3M transfer last summer, Camara has scored 8 premiership goals in his 16 starts for the club. We await with great anticipation his next huff, followed by his next transfer request and his next "Ahm no playin fur yis agin" declaration in the Wigan Evening chronicle, or whatever daily rag people use to wrap bags of chips down there.
Bratislava lose
Artmedia Bratislava, displaying all the lack of confidence you would expect from a team that has failed to beat Rangers in their two meetings this season, lost the first leg of their UEFA cup match against Bulgaria's Levski Sofia. A solitary goal by Levski's Emil Angel separated the sides. Artmedia were forced to move the game 45KM down the road to Trnava due to the poor condition of the pitch in their own Tehelnà Pole stadium. Coincidentally, Trnava is a place dear to the hearts of many Celtic supporters, being the town Bobo, Stan and the rest of the Celtic defence were last sighted in, one balmy July evening, not too long ago.
And that's your round-up. If we missed anything I'm sure you'll let us know.
You'd be surprised, you really would. Places on this earth I didn't even know existed are seemingly wired up to the internet and downloading our latest guff about Celtic. Mauritius? We've got a reader there. Vietnam? The Hanoi CSC are signed up members of the Paranoid Tim. There's even one poor wee bloke who shows up all on his own somewhere in the middle of the Australian Outback. Paranoid Tim can't yet confirm that this is Alec Clelland still trying to find where Del Piero went with the ball, but we think it highly unlikely.
And as we have such a varied readership, we thought it might be nice for those tims scattered round the globe to have a little weekly round up on Celtic related news that we were too lazy to write about earlier in the week. Yeh, we know you read Newsnow. That's how you found us, right? But you never know. There might be a bit or two that you missed. Anyway, onto the guff.
That Was The Team That Was
For readers in Scotland - or anyone who has access to the Tartan TV that passes as BBC Ecosse - Friday 24th February is a date to be marked on the calendar. That was the team that was....Celtic 87/88 unsurprisingly devotes half an hour to the Celtic centenary team that would claim a league and cup double under Billy McNeill. Sorry if I've ruined the ending for you. But hey, If you're reading this you should really know.
The blurb in this weeks Radio Times reads
It was Celtic's 100th Birthday - but the "grand old team" was showing it's age. The trophy room lay bare, big-name players had left and they'd sacked their manager. Could a new team produce a season fit for a centenary?
One worth watching, I'm sure you'll agree. Also worth watching is this weeks edition, scheduled to run tonight, which focuses on the Hearts 85/86 team that managed to blow the league on the final day of the season a full 20 years before Martin O'Neils Celtic would manage the same feat. Here at The Paranoid Tim we're not sure whether we'll watch it to see Celtic snatch a last gasp league title, or to see Jambo's greetin' into their pies as news filters through from Love Street that Celtic are the champions. Probably a bit of both.
Shearer Testimonial
Speaking of old things. Newcastle striking legend Alan Shearer has officially announced that Celtic will provide the opposition for his Testimonial game, scheduled for May 11th. Shearer has also announced that he will donate all money raised, expected to be in the region of £1M, to charity. A nice gesture, it has to be said. And once again Celtic support are given the honor of sending off one of the games biggest names.
Rumours that the Daily Record are sending a bus full of Cameraman to Newcastle with instructions to mug themselves and sell the story on are completely unfounded.
Bookies pay out
Fresh from our 1-0 walloping of that lot from across the city, bookies up and down the land have decided to pay out on a Celtic SPL Title win, the first time the wee white flag has gone up in February. Punters who ripped their lines up after the Artmedia game and the 4-4 draw at Fir Park on the first day of the season can contact The Paranoid Tim and we'll put you in touch with a trained counsellor.
Celtic Reserves
With Barry Ferguson allegedly out of Rangers game against Hibs on Saturday, having not yet managed to wash the smell of Roy Keane's pish out of his hair it was the turn of the Rangers youngsters to show their overpaid, under performing first team how to do the business and beat Celtic. Alas, it was not to be. Although to be fair to the mini Orcs, they did manage a goalless draw having played much of the game with 10 men. With talented footballing prodigies such as Klos, Rodriguez, Bernarnd, Namouchi, Hemdani, Rae, Boyd and Novo in the Rangers lineup, the £14M worth of investment in Murray Park has surely paid off. If only we'd thought of that.
For excellent coverage of the game and other mini-Celt stuff, jump on over to the Celtic FC Blog. It's well worth a read.
Celtic turnover
Celtic have maintained their place in the "Deloitte" top 20, the annual survey of the worlds richest clubs. The Glasgow Giants (as opposed to the other Glasgow clubs who fail to make the top 20) were listed as the 16th richest club, down 3 places from last year. The list is based on club turnover. Celtic are the only club outwith the five major European leagues to make it into the list, a remarkable feat and proof of the potential strength of the Celtic name throughout the world. However, this years European adventures (or lack of) could see us slip outside the top 20 when next years list is published.
The Paranoid Ex-Tims section
Henke goes home
As if we didn't already know it, Henrik Larsson is a man of his word. For years now we've listened to the goalscoring legend speak quietly of his determination to finish his career in his native Sweden. Yesterday he confirmed that he would return not only to Sweden, but to his own hometown of Helsingborg, signing an 18 month contract with the club that helped put him on the road to stardom. There aren't many players in todays game who would turn down another year at Barcelona for the sake of keeping a promise to the coach who helped nurture his raw talents as a youngster. But that is exactly what Larsson has done.
Helsingborg have no idea what they've done. Not only have they signed the greatest Swedish footballer of the last 50 years. They've now become the Swedish club of choice for probably every Celtic supporter on this planet. Paranoid Tim wishes Henrik every success, and as much happiness as he gave us over those seven years he graced the Hoops.
Agathe for...
Following on from the slightly ridiculous idea of Middlesbrough signing Didier Agathe, and the utterly surreal idea of Arsenal signing Didier Agathe, we now have the moderately bizarre idea that the Frenchman could yet well maybe have a sneaky chance of perhaps signing a contract with Premiership side Bolton. Agathe, who left Celtic in a blaze of shoulder shrugging is currently training at the Reebok Stadium. Should this one fall through, too, Paranoid Tim has been reliably informed that there are still another 17 Premiership teams with training facilities that Didier can gatecrash. We await developments with the same 'trying to withhold a smirk' face that last sneaked onto our face that time Martin O'Neil suggested Agathe should be playing for France. Oh how we laughed.
McParland signs for Barnsley
New to the pantheon of ex-tims comes Tony McParland. "Who he?" we hear you cry. Well Tony is none other than Celtic's longest serving player, according to the Official Celtic website. And this week young Tony departed for pastures new. 23 year old McParland signed on for 18 months with English League One side Barnsley. Paranoid Tim wishes him well in his new surroundings.
Paul Lambert resigns from Livingston
Paul Lambert resigned as the manager of SPL strugglers Livingston following his sides 1-0 home defeat at the hands of fellow relegation fodder Dunfermline. Lambert, in an interview on Radio Scotland before the match, had hinted that he would step down if his side failed to win. Livingston have installed ex-Hearts boss John Robertson as their new manager. Rumours that Gordon Strachan is said to be interested in signing the spritely 36 year old Lambert until the end of the season are completely without foundation.
Colin Healy training with Livingston
While one ex-celt's Livingston career came to a grinding halt at Almondvale this week, yet another was setting up camp. Former hoops midfielder Colin Healy, who has been out of the game since breaking his leg while playing for Sunderland in 2003, has been training with Livvie, with a view to a permanent deal. Healy left Sunderland by mutual consent in December and has been attracting interest from several teams, notably Hibs and Crystal Palace. The Irishman made some 48 appearances for Celtic between 1999 and 2003, starting 27 times and scoring 3 goals. The Paranoid Tim wishes Colin Healy all the best in his attempts to get back to playing the football we know he is capable of.
Camera Wigan No show
English Premiership surprise package Wigan have fined former Celt Henri Camara after the player failed to return from African Nations Cup duty in time to play against Liverpool last weekend. Liverpool won the game 1-0. The Senegalese striker, something of an African Mark Viduka, accepted his fine with the grace of anyone who earns megabucks from kicking a wee sack of leather round a field. The shouts of "Where the hell is Camara?" heard round Wigan last week echo those often heard round Scottish football grounds during his short spell in Glasgow.
Camara scored 8 goals in 12 SPL starts for Martin O'Neils side last season, having joined on loan from Wolves. Despite this reasonable goalscoring record, he was regarded as something of a flop and allowed to leave Glasgow after only 6 months. Joining Wigan in a £3M transfer last summer, Camara has scored 8 premiership goals in his 16 starts for the club. We await with great anticipation his next huff, followed by his next transfer request and his next "Ahm no playin fur yis agin" declaration in the Wigan Evening chronicle, or whatever daily rag people use to wrap bags of chips down there.
Bratislava lose
Artmedia Bratislava, displaying all the lack of confidence you would expect from a team that has failed to beat Rangers in their two meetings this season, lost the first leg of their UEFA cup match against Bulgaria's Levski Sofia. A solitary goal by Levski's Emil Angel separated the sides. Artmedia were forced to move the game 45KM down the road to Trnava due to the poor condition of the pitch in their own Tehelnà Pole stadium. Coincidentally, Trnava is a place dear to the hearts of many Celtic supporters, being the town Bobo, Stan and the rest of the Celtic defence were last sighted in, one balmy July evening, not too long ago.
And that's your round-up. If we missed anything I'm sure you'll let us know.
posted by Moravcik67 @ 12:03 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Fairly comprehensive round up there paranoid.
Don’t think I will watch that Hearts thing tonight will bring back to many memories of FP last season. Can’t utter the words Albert Kid………ever again.
Dunfermline preview posted on www.thelordofthewing.blogspot mate if you and your readership fancy a look.
Possible partnership working in tandem could be arranged? You promote me to your masses and I promote you to my readership of around 10?
Hail Hail and welcome to the celtic world of blog- you will need plenty of drink to see you thru:-)
KevinG
sorry that should be www.thelordofthewing.blogspot.com
lunch time pub lunch few pints not a good mixture when coming back to work!!!!
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